DHMO

Fruit juice contains a chemical, DHMO, that is also produced by rocket engines. Think about it for a moment. The same stuff that comes shooting out the back of a rocket on its way to the International Space Station is sloshing around in your fridge and you drink it for breakfast! And nobody does a damn thing about it!

Remember the Hindenburg disaster? The chemical reaction that destroyed the airship also produced DHMO. Fancy that in your refreshing glass of orange juice? I don't care if you have squeezed the stuff straight from citrus fruit grown in your very own organic orangery, with every sip you're consuming DHMO. It can even be found in mineral water, tap water, rainwater – in fact the oceans, rivers and lakes are literally full of the stuff.

NaCl

Not one but two deadly poisons here. What do you think makes salty snacks so appealing? Nothing other than a delicious mix of a chemical warfare agent used in the trenches of the first world war and an explosive metal. They put this chemical on our crisps, nuts and chips!

Uranium

And finally one that glows in the dark. In anyone's book, that can't be good. You don't eat it, but you might be eating out of it. Got any green glassware in the house? Well then RUN FOR THE HILLS! There's a good chance it contains uranium! Unbelievably, you can just buy the stuff on the internet, without the slightest controls being in place. Forget food safety for a moment – why aren't British Nuclear Fuels rounding up every last fragment and burying it with their radioactive waste?

Point made, I hope.